I Still Miss You
by BoandNora-ItsOneWord
Summary: Robert has a few things he needs to tell Anna before she moves on with her life. Will it change anything for her?
1. Chapter 1

This was supposed to be a one shot but I decided there was a little more story left so It will most likely be a two shot. It is basically a different way to write in Finola's summer vacation and fix the one line from Friday's show that was not true. lol. Enjoy.

**I Still Miss You**

"You look Happy Annie. I'm just sorry that I can no longer be the man who does that for you."

"Oh Robert," she sighs.

"Don't. Do not pity me. I just need you to know a few things before you move on with your life okay."

"As long as you know that it's not pity you see. I want you to be happy too."

He takes her hand in his and for a moment all the world ceases to exist. He plays with the ring that until recently he was in possession of. He wishes he had done things a lot differently. A single tear rolls down his cheek and she wipes it away with her thumb.

"I've been holding on to these for quite some time," he says. "I guess I always hoped I would get the chance to put them back on your finger. Except now, you are marrying another man and I lost my chance. I was going to get rid of them but the truth is that in my heart, I still think of you as my wife. There are so many memories attached to these rings Anna. They are still yours."

He places them into her palm and tries to look away. She covers his hand with her own.

"I remember when you put these on me Robert. I thought we would last forever. I was so happy then. Just because we did not last does not mean you are not important to me. In less than a month, it would have been our wedding anniversary."

"Except it was not legal."

Anna reaches out and takes both his cheeks into her hands. "I took vows with you Robert. Just because it turned out to be bad timing, it does not mean it did not count. You were my husband in every way that mattered. "

"Then how did we get here Luv? Even at the end of it, I did not even get to hold on to the fact that you were my wife. We waited so long to get married again but then you were kidnapped and Holly showed up and…"

"We lost each other."

Anna wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer. She knows how hard it is for him to show emotion like this.

"I am so sorry Robert. I do not know what happened to us. Why we could not seem to reach out to each other. There was _never_ a moment when we looked at each other and realized it could not last. When we were in that boat explosion, I was so in love with you. I was so happy to be your wife."

"Oh Annie, I was never as happy as I was when I was your husband. We never really talked about this when we finally found each other again but I need you to know that when I found out Holly was alive, it might have thrown me but it never changed the way I felt about you. You were the wife that I wanted and before I left to find you, I made sure Holly knew that. I just never had the chance to tell _you _that before everything fell apart."

"I always kind of wondered what you would have done if we hadn't been in that accident. How could I not, after the Markham islands."

"That whole adventure was such a mess Anna…but nothing happened between us. I know it does not matter anymore but truthfully, I was just going through the motions. In all the time we were apart, there was never a day when I didn't _crave_ you…when I didn't _miss _you…When I didn't_ love _you,. Even when you were screaming at me, or kicking me in the head, I _wanted_ you. If you only knew how much I wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you until you had no doubts anymore."

"Then why _didn't_ you Robert? When I thought you were dead, it _really_ messed me up. I wanted so bad to be able to see you one more time…just _once_…so I could tell you how much I missed you…how much I really did love you."

"Anna, you _rejected _me. I would have moved _mountains _to get you back if I thought I stood a chance at all. Except the first thing you did when you saw me was kick me in the head…and tell me that you wished I had died for real. How was I _supposed _to react to that? I wanted to wrap my arms around you and tell you how grateful I was that you survived. I wanted to tell you _so_ many things but how could I when all you could talk about was how much I let you down."

"Oh Robert, I am _so _sorry. I hope you know, I _never _meant that. I was so angry and hurt and I hated myself for still wanting you…but I would _never _want you to disappear from this world…or from my life. You are _too_ important to me. "

"Then what happened when you finally saw me again…was it really just because of what I did to keep you safe…Because I didn't know how to come back to you or how to ask you to forgive me when I could not even forgive myself."

"Is that really how you feel?"

He averts his eyes and tries to look at the floor but she raises his chin and forces him to look at her.

"All this time…have you been carrying this burden around all on your own? Oh Robert, I forgave you a long time ago. I thought we talked about all of this when you had cancer."

"And I _lost _you again."

"It wasn't our time Robert. It was a bad situation all around. But hey, you survived and I am _so_ grateful for that. Doesn't that count for something?"

"I just wish I knew how to fight for you. I guess that was my problem. I never knew how to offer you more than what you already had. I wanted you to be happy more than anything but I guess selfishly I still hoped you would find out that I was the man who could make you happy."

"You did make me happy Scorpio. _Deliriously happy_. "

"And I waited too long to tell you that you are the love of my life and that you always will be. I Know. I just need you to know one thing okay. I need you to know that if there _ever_ comes a day when things change for you…If you wake up one day and realize that whatever you thought would make you happy, no longer does. _You and Me Luv_…It will _never_ be off the table."

He brushes the stray hair back from her face and looks into her eyes. He caresses her cheek with his thumb and then leans in to kiss her. His lips are warm and inviting on hers…tender and sweet. She had spent so much time kissing him in the past and so many years had gone by abstaining from it. It was as if they had never spent a day apart as the kiss grows in intensity. Anna wraps her arms around his neck and he plunges his tongue into her parted lips as he holds her tight. Robert pours all of those buried emotions and suppressed desires into that kiss…and she reacts to him as she always did. The need for air causes them to step back, their breathing irregular and their hearts racing. Robert touches his forehead to hers and she smiles at him.

"It's nice to know you still respond to me like that Luv," he whispers as he steps away.

"You just like to confuse me don't you," she quips, as she puts a finger to the lips he just kissed.

"I'm just letting you know you have other options. I guess I just got tired of being so bloody noble. I've lost you _too_ many times by living that way."

She puts her hand on his chest. "You are _still _an honorable man Robert Scorpio. That kiss doesn't change anything."

"It changes _everything_ Anna. We _both_ know it does. It might be today. It might be years down the line. But you and I are _never_ going to be over. You are in my _blood_ Annie. And _God knows_ what you do to my _heart_. I will be around whenever you figure out that you feel the same."

She watches him walk away and sinks down into the couch. She can still feel the tingles left from when they were kissing. _What kind of love is this, she wonders? What kind of man would tell you they would wait for you…even if it takes the rest of his life?_

_An Honorable Man…a Good man. _

Anna picks up her phone and dials Robin's number. "Hi honey its mom. Are you up for a visit? _What? Nothing_ is wrong sweetheart, I'm just…."

She waits a beat as she ponders her words carefully. "I'm a little confused Robin. I need some advice. I would rather do it face to face. Good. I will be there tomorrow. I love you."

She hangs up the phone just as Finn walks over. "Don't look so _guilty_, "he says. "I just came to ask you to lunch."

"Finn, I'm sorry but I have to leave town for a while. I really feel like I need to see my daughter."

"Is everything alright," he asks.

"It will be," she assures him. "I just need to figure a few things out and being around my little girl always seems to help. "

"I wish I could go with you but…"

"This is something I _need _to do myself. I promise I will tell you everything when I return. I have to go."

She kisses him lightly as she walks away. The last thought in her mind before pulling out her phone to make her flight reservation was that he did _not_ kiss like _Robert_…And _she_ most _certainly _did not _react _to him like Robert.

_"Oh Shit, "_ she mumbles. "I am in _big _trouble now. I am engaged to _one_ man and I cannot stop thinking about _another_. _What the hell is wrong with me?" _

Robin will know what to do, she reminds herself. Robin _always_ knows what to do. _Not like her basket case of a mother. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

When Anna entered Robin's kitchen, she is surprised to see Robert sitting there drinking a beer.

"What is going on here," she asks, her arms crossed in defiance.

Robin sighs as she looks at both her parents in exasperation.

"You two have got to be the most stubborn people in the entire human race. You can talk to _me_ about each other but when comes to talking _to _each other; you act as if the world is ending. "

"Robin that's not," Anna stutters. Robert looks over at her and smiles. _He knows what her stuttering means._

"Mom, I understand that you have a lot to think about. I also know you would not be so confused if you did not have real feelings for dad. Are you going to deny that?"

Anna looks directly at Robert and immediately wants to hit him. He is looking at her with that devilish grin that used to melt her heart…_still does if she were honest_…except right now she is perfectly aware of what it means. _Cocky bastard. _

"And Dad, "Robin continues. "I know how much you have _always_ loved mom. I admire you for _finally _deciding to chase your _own _happiness when for so long it was _always_ about _us_…but you also need to remember that mom just accepted a marriage proposal…even if it was from the _wrong _man."

Robert almost spit out his beer and Anna nearly choked on the water she just picked up. "_Excuse me?_ Did you just say the _wrong _man?"

"You know _exactly _what I said."

"What's wrong with Finn," she asks?

"Is that a _real_ question," Robert interjects. "I could tell you a _thousand_ reasons."

"Is that so," Anna challenges. "Name _one."_

"He's not _me,_" he says simply.

He looks up at her with that arrogant smirk that tells her that he is _pleased _with himself. She wants to smack him for his smugness but instead flashes him a seemingly nonchalant smile of her own. _If only she did not want to kiss him too. _

"_You are such a pompous ass, you know that," she yells._

_"Which only means you hate the fact that I'm right."_

"Alright you two," Robin interjects, standing between them. "Separate corners."

Anna sunk down into a chair at the table as Robert retreated to the other side of the kitchen. Robin looked between her parents.

"_What in the world is wrong with you two,_" Robin questions. Anna and Robert look at her with somber expressions but neither of them say a word.

"Look, you _both_ came here because you needed my advice about each other. Clearly, there is something _more_ going on. How can two people who are so _obviously _in love with each other…"

"Robin," Anna interrupts.

"Don't deny it mom. I _know_ that is why you are _so_ upset. If you were so happy with Finn, then _why_ did you kiss dad yesterday?"

_"He kissed me,"_ she defends.

"_And I suppose you were not kissing me back were you,_" Robert challenges.

"It was a _mistake_."

"Why mom? Is it because you_ regret _kissing him…or because you are engaged to a man you don't _really_ want to marry?"

"How do you _know_ I don't want to marry him," she questions.

"Because you believed that _dad _was going to propose and on _some_ level, you _wanted_ him to. "

"That's _crazy,"_ Anna states.

"Mom, what _is_ crazy is thinking that Dad would propose to you when he knows you are living with another man. He might be in love with you but he _knows_ what boundaries are. The _only_ reason you would believe that is that subconsciously it was on _your _mind…and when it was_ Finn_ that proposed and not _dad_…you were disappointed. Think about that okay. Whatever it is that is simmering underneath the surface…you _both_ need to deal with it. I will be in the living room. Do not even _think _of leaving here until you have _dealt_ with this."

Robin closes the door behind her and Robert takes a few steps forward. Anna wants to be anywhere but here right now.

"Tell me the truth Annie…Is Robin right? Did you think I was going to propose to you because it is what_ you _wanted? Please do not lie to me baby. Haven't we had _enough_ lies between us?"

Tears fall from her cheeks as she turns to him. "What does it matter Robert? You were _not_ the one who proposed."

"It matters because I _thought_ about it. When I found out that Finn wanted to marry you, I felt as if my whole world was ending. _Again._ I was looking at the ring and trying to figure out how I could win you back. You should still be my wife Luv. The _only_ reason I did not ask you was that you were not mine to ask anymore. I need to know if something has changed."

"What could possibly have changed?"

"Annie."

"Robert I…I _do _think about you okay. _Way _more than I should. After you kissed me at the hospital yesterday, I could not get you out of my mind. I am not _supposed_ to be reacting to you like that anymore Robert. I am about to become another man's wife."

"Then why did you kiss me _back _Annie. You cannot possibly tell me that Finn kisses you like that. I would never believe you."

"I wish he did Robert. I wish it was not _you_ I wanted to marry.I wish it was not _you_ that I was thinking of when that ring fell onto the stage."

"So you _were_ hoping I would propose to you, "He says, grinning.

"_Yes okay. Are you happy now? I did want you to propose to me. I wanted you to kiss me…I want…" _

Her words die in her throat when Robert pulls her into his arms and starts kissing her passionately again.

"I _love you_ Annie. I will _never _love another woman as I love _you_. It is _not _too late for us to get married. To have the life we always wanted to have. What are you so afraid of?"

_"Losing _you. We had our chance Robert. God, we had more than one chance. I still lost you. "

"It will be different this time Luv. It will."

"You don't know that Robert. You can't possibly know."

"I know that the man who caused us the most harm…the man who destroyed both our marriages is dead. I also know that if you gave me another chance, I would do everything in my power to keep you with me. I love you more than anything in this world. Doesn't that count for anything?"

She looks at him again and she can see the love in his eyes. She is not sure of much right now but somehow when he says it, she wants to believe it. He holds out his arms and she steps into them. He kisses the top of her head as he folds his arms around her. She buries her head in the crook of his neck. She does not know what the future holds tomorrow but for today, as Robert holds her in his arms, she is content.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

He wandered out of the bedroom somewhere around four in the morning. He spent the last hour staring at the wall, imagining Anna somewhere in the other room, wondering what she was wearing or if she was wearing anything at all. _How do you know I still wear a nightie Scorpio? _She was torturing him, he knew, but it still made him wonder.

He needed some water…maybe a little air…anything to help with the thoughts in his head. Then he saw light streaming under her bedroom door and decided to take a chance. Anna smiles when she looks up from her book.

"I knew you couldn't stay away," she quips.

"You enjoy torturing me with your stories don't you," he whispers.

"Who said it's a story?"

"Are you saying?"

"Come see for yourself Scorpio."

She puts the book down on the nightstand as he pulls back the covers. She watches his eyes turn dark with desire and reaches for his hand.

"I've been waiting for you Scorpio," she confesses. "Don't make me wait any longer."

He reaches for her face as he pulls her into his arms, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he kisses her deeply. Anna's hands tug at the buttons of his pajama top as he settles between her legs.

"Are you sure…Anna, are you sure," he asks.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Make love to me Robert. I need you."

She pulls his shirt from his shoulders and kisses up his chest.

_"Oh God, Annie_," he cries as her hand moves down his legs to rest at his crotch.

"I think you are hiding a present for me in your pants," she jokes.

"That's what you do to me Annie. You make me so hard I cannot think straight. "

"Then it's a good thing it's not your brain I'm after tonight."

He shifts his hips and she helps him out of his pants and his boxers. "How does that feel baby," she asks as she rubs his swollen shaft in her hands.

_"Shit Annie,_" he cries. "_Shit that feels good." _

"How about this," she asks, her warm lips now closing around his shaft as she drinks him in. "I want to hear you scream baby. Tell me how much you like it."

He can feel himself nearing his release and she is not even inside him yet. _"I need to cum Annie. God I need to cum." _

"What's stopping you, "she challenges.

"I don't want to hurt you," he admits.

"I'm not a china doll. Give me all you got."

He flips her onto her back as he runs his finger down her bare thigh. "All this foreplay can wait. I need you inside me _now. God damn it Anna, I need to feel you so deep inside me that I can feel you in my soul." _

He kisses her sensually as he pushes himself deeply inside her, her nails digging into his back as he loses himself completely in her warmth.

She grips the side of the bed as she feels him cum again…filling her so completely she thinks she will go insane if she cannot have him again.

"That's it baby," he soothes. "Let it go for me. Just let it go."

They ride the wave of ecstasy together, until they collapse on top of each other, completely spent. Robert's arms wrap around her as her head lays cocooned against his chest and they fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Sweat drips down Robert's face as he bolts up in bed. He looks around his darkened room and realizes that Anna is not with him.

"_It was a dream_," he whispers. _"Bloody hell, It was a dream._" He was used to these kind of dreams about her but this was much more intense. He runs his fingers through his damp hair and decides to get out of bed. It was no use trying to go back to sleep now. He was much too turned on.

"Robert," Anna calls, as soon as he opens the door. She is standing in her nightie; her face flushed from what he could only hope was passion.

"You had the same dream didn't you?"

"You mean the one where you come into my room and we end up making mad, passionate love? Yes Robert. I was dreaming about you and me and things I have no business dreaming about."

"And yet here you are standing at my door…what is it Luv? Do you want to turn fantasy into reality?"

"Robert, I'm serious."

"So am I. "

He tugs her against him by her waist, her lips warm on his as he kisses her deeply. She wraps her arms around his neck and he picks her up. He carries her into the bedroom, their lips never parting from each other's. His hands roam under her nightgown and he can hear her moan his name as he slips two fingers into her tight little slit.

"You are so wet baby. Is that why you are shivering?"

"Robert, we can't…we can't do this."

He smiles at her before backing away…kissing her so deeply that she almost forgot to breathe.

"No we can't…but I take great pleasure in knowing that you want me that much. Tell me something Anna? Does Finn make you Cum on contact or is that reserved just for me?"

"You arrogant bastard…"

"If the shoe fits…"

"You know what…this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here."

She was trying to move from his grasp when he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. "Why did you come to my room Annie? It's four in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep and I thought…"

He can see the hint of sadness in her eyes and immediately regrets the bite in his words a moment before. "I'm sorry Luv. You can't ask me to stop fighting for you...or to stop feeling things for you...But You can talk to me. What is it?"

"If it's not too much trouble, can I sleep here with you?"

"You really think that's a good idea after what almost happened," he questioned.

"I'm not sure of _anything_ anymore Robert. I just know that when I woke up from that dream, I had this uncontrollable desire for you to hold me. I cannot explain it. I just…"

He opens his arms and she settles against his chest, his arms closing around her. He might not get much sleep tonight but he would never turn down an opportunity to hold her.

"I will hold you for as long as you need Luv. Don't worry. I'm not going to try anything. When our time comes, you will have _no _doubt who you want to be with. It will be right for _both _of us. Go to sleep now sweetheart. I've got you."

He kisses the top of her head as she thanks him. Within minutes, she is asleep against him as he strokes her hair.

"You sleep now Angel. Bobby will be right here watching you."

It might not have been as pleasant as his dream but he would gladly give up sleep to hold Anna in his arms for whatever reason._ He was holding his entire world right here in this moment. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Anna wakes with Robert's head on her chest, one hand intertwined with his. His other hand lays across her nightie, haphazardly cupping one of her breasts. She smiles when she looks at him. He was obviously asleep or he would have at least _tried _to hide his condition from her. Not that she minded. Not that she would tell him that.

She watches him sleep and thinks to herself that he looks so innocent when he sleeps. She remembers thinking the same thing _so _many times when they were married. He was _hardly_ innocent. Still, it had been the first time she had slept soundly in months. _Why did he have to have that effect on her? _

She watches his eyes flutter open and for a moment, she almost forgets what year it is. How many times had they woken just like this back when they were married? He would caress her face and pull her closer and they would make love before getting into the shower. Sometimes again. Things were different now. He was not her husband anymore.

As if sensing her thoughts, he moves his hand off her breast and smiles up at her. "Sorry about that Luv." She knows he is not just talking about his hand on her breast. "How did you sleep?"

Instead of answering, she sighs. He knows _exactly_ how she slept. "Why does it have to be you," she asks softly.

He caresses the side of her cheek with his thumb. He knows what this is. He also knows she will it deny it later.

"I'm not sure I follow," he states.

She looks up at him over her shoulder, her eyes dark and wide. He knows that look. He has seen it many times when they were married. _You feel it too Luv, he thinks. Even if you cannot admit it, right now. _

"Why is it you I'm having these dreams about Robert? Why do you have to do this to me?"

"What exactly am I _doing_ to you?"

"You know_ damn well_ what you are doing to me."

He moves a little closer to her, his hand moving under her nightie. She was not wearing any panties.

"_Bloody Hell, Anna._ Why are you torturing me like this? If I had _known_ you were not wearing any panties last night…_damn it Annie…Its all I can think about now. _How wet you are. How much I want to run my hands all over your body…"

"Do you think I _like_ feeling like this? Do you think I _want _to be wondering if you are wearing any boxers under those pants?"

"I would be _happy _to show you," he says with a grin.

"Robert, you can't say things like that. I am engaged to another man."

"Then why are you having erotic dreams about me? Why did you sleep in my bed last night? Why didn't you wear any panties? Why are you so bloody turned on right now?"

He takes both of her cheeks in his hands as he brushes some of the stray hair out of her face as he looks deeply into her eyes.

"I know you are confused okay. I _know _that. I even accept it. Just please…please do not act as if we have a _choice _in how we feel. You cannot just flip a switch and stop loving someone just because it does not fit into your plans. I _love _you Annie. I always will."

"_Damn you. Damn you for making me ache for you. Do you have any idea how crazy you make me feel? _You taunt me during my waking hours and you cannot even leave me alone in my dreams. I think about you Robert. I think about you way more than I should. Even when I am lying beside him at night, I think about you. You haunt my dreams and when I wake up, I can still feel the way your lips taste on mine…I _can't _get you out of my head…I can't sleep… I am barely eating...Just because I love you does not mean we can forget about everything else. We _both_ know how it always ends with us."

"It can be different this time Annie. If you would just stop running away from me. Running away from your heart. You _say_ you love Finn. Okay fine. I can accept that. Just answer me one thing…Does he make your heart beat so fast that sometimes you forget how to breathe? Do you lay awake at night thinking about him? Does the thought of being with him make you feel as if you are finally complete? You are my home Anna. The missing piece that I never knew was missing until I met you. If you cannot say the same thing about Finn, then maybe you should rethink your decision to marry him. "

A single tear runs down her cheek and he brushes it away with his thumb.

"If I thought for one second that you were truly happy with Finn than I would walk away right now…But you deserve _better_ than good enough Anna. You deserve someone who _needs_ you…who feels as if he can't breathe without you…someone who knows that he lost the best part of himself when he lost you. You deserve someone who thinks that you are the beginning and the end for him_..._That you are _everything._ Take all the time you need. I will still be here when you make up your mind."

"How can you say that Robert? You don't know what the future will bring."

"I know that for me, I will never love anyone else. Not like I love you. I already tried that remember? All I have to show for it is a trail of broken hearts in its path. You are the one for me Anna. I know that as sure as I know how to breathe."

"How do you still love me that much...How, after everything I did to hurt you."

"I hurt you too Luv. It doesn't mean we aren't still meant to be together."

He pulls her into his arms and kisses her softly on the lips. At first it is sweet and tender but quickly it begins to intensify... his tongue plunging inside her mouth as she wraps her arms around him and the kiss grows more heated. When it ends, he puts his forehead against hers, holding her in his arms as their breathing slows down. He gets up off the bed and walks to towards the bathroom. He turns around once more and smiles at her.

"You know I will keep this to myself Anna. You have always been able to trust that. I just thought you should know how I feel. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least _try _to win you back. It was eating me up inside. I know it's been eating you too."

She hears the door close and the shower start up as she places a finger to her lips. She did not need this right now. She did not need to be feeling this way. Not now. Not when she finally has her life in order.

"Damn it Scorpio, why do you have to turn my whole world upside down again. I was finally getting over you. "

"Were you," Robin asks, as she walks into the bedroom. "Or were you just a good pretender."

She looks at her daughter for a moment before the floodgates open and the tears cascade down her face. Robin sits down on the bed and puts a hand on her mother's back.

"Why is it so hard for you to admit that you want him back? I know you do not want to hurt Finn but isn't it worse to marry him knowing that it is dad that really gets your heart going? Think about okay. I will be in the kitchen making breakfast. "

"Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. I know your father and I are a mess but…"

"I have not met one person in love who wasn't. "

She closes the door and Anna just sits there staring at it. She had a lot to think about now. _How was she ever going to do that with him here?_

"I'll leave after breakfast, "Robert states, as if reading her thoughts. "The shower is all yours."

"Robert…"

"You don't have to thank me. I know you need time to think."

She walks passed him into the bathroom and shuts the door. _Great. Now she will be thinking of him in a towel all day. Not conductive to thinking. _

As she steps under the faucet, she lets the warm water wash over her and tries to block all thoughts of Robert from invading her mind. She was not having any luck. _Not when she could see his hands in her hair or his lips on her skin. Not when she could picture him lifting her against the shower wall as they made love under the faucet. _

_Snap out of it Anna_, she reminded herself disapprovingly as she finally turned off the shower. It is not bad enough you are having sex dreams about him at night…now you are having them while you are awake too. _Pull yourself together. _


End file.
